Every child who loses a parent faces the ache of unanswered questions and untold memories. This Was Them was created to capture those stories big and small so children can feel connected to the parent they never fully got to know. Let’s hear the background story from Tessa Marshall, the founder of ‘This Was Them’ about why preserving these memories is so vital.

My dad died in a car accident when I was a baby. At 16 months old I became a bereaved child, my 19 year old mum became a widow.  I grew up never knowing the sound of his laugh, the things that made him tick, the stories that bring someone to life. I had 1 photo, a handful of comments from family, but that was it. 

When you lose someone so young, the silence becomes deafening. You’re left with gaps that can never be filled. I couldn’t ask him what music he loved, what kind of friend he was, or how he felt when he first held me. And the truth is no one ever thought to tell me those things.  One of the traits of childhood bereavement is that we don’t like to instigate the conversation, or ask questions, for fear of upsetting those around us. 

The lack of connection is an ache I carried into adulthood and that’s why I founded This Was Them because I know how much children need those memories: the ordinary and the extraordinary. The little stories that help you feel connected to the person you’ve lost. The details that remind you: they were real, they lived, they were loved. 

When a parent dies, their friends and family are the keepers of those stories but unless someone takes the time to capture them, they stay locked away—or worse, forgotten. 

Through This Was Them, I interview the people who knew a parent best; friends, family, colleagues. I listen for the laughter, the quirks, the rituals, the everyday magic. Then I turn those memories into a beautiful hard-back book—something a child can hold in their hands.  Something that helps them feel supported and connected. 

I’m proud to be working in partnership with charities like Child Bereavement UK and RoadPeace and to collaborate with organisations across the bereavement sector. Their experience, research, and credibility give weight to what I do. They understand, as I do, that preserving memories isn’t a luxury—it’s vital for a child’s sense of identity, belonging, and healing. 

This is more than just a book. It’s proof. Proof that their parent mattered. Proof that love doesn’t end. Proof that even in loss, connection is possible. 

I never had that growing up, and that’s why I do this now—so that no child has to face the silence I did. 

Because memories don’t just tell us who our parent was. They help us understand who we are. 

 Contact Information: 

• www.thiswasthem.co.uk 

• info@thiswasthem.co.uk 

• 07493 165 179 

• Instagram: @bereavedchild 

Updated on: 25 September 2025