We’re grateful to share this second blog from the team taking on the National Three Peaks Challenge in memory of their much-loved friend Robert Bown AKA Bowny. Their efforts support both RoadPeace and Andy’s Man Club, raising awareness around grief and men’s mental health with a fundraising target of £2500.

Now, they’re opening up about the why, the deep personal loss, the lasting friendship, and the drive to help others facing grief and mental health struggles. This blog is a powerful reminder that behind every fundraiser is a story of love, loss, and the hope to make a difference.

Here are Marlon’s Martin words, reflecting on friendship, loss, and why this challenge means so much.

I remember meeting Bowny (Rob) for the first time when we were playing football for Caverswall Blades FC in Staffordshire. At this time Bown was a tall strong lad who automatically became the “big lad up front!” In coming years we found that not only would we play for the same football team but we would also attend Moorside High together and both played cricket for Caverswall Cricket Club.

Over the years we had many great times whether it be on a sports pitch or by the bar. Bown was instrumental in getting people together whether it was renovating his house with him, playing sport or catching up for a pint or two.

Bown and I shared a love for the ridiculous, we would laugh at a lot of things that really weren’t that funny. Often I would wake up to a message from Bown from half way around the world quoting a cricket commentator from the mid 90s; that was his way of saying “how are you doing mate?”

Our friendship was summed up when Bown flew home from Australia for my wedding day! It really wouldn’t have been the same without him.

I will never forget getting the phone call early on that Sunday morning! My heart sank, I sank! I couldn’t and didn’t want to believe what I was being told! Both my wife and I were very good friends with Bown and it felt like we’d had our hearts ripped out.

Would I say I’ve come to terms with it now? No, not really!

Have I accepted it?

No, not at all.

Losing Bown has impacted me massively, in life there are very few people who are truly there for you when you need them and Bown really was one of those guys.

Often when faced with a problem or if I’m feeling down I will think how much I would love to sit and ask him what he thinks…

Losing Bown has changed my outlook on a few things in life, the main thing is that we cannot take time for granted, when he was alive Bown would do what he wanted when he wanted. If he wanted to go somewhere he would go, if he wanted to watch something, that’s what he would do. Life is for living and memories are for making. He crammed a lot of life into his short years and it’s a valuable lesson to take away.

Dealing with Bown’s death is tough to take, especially as a man and a father! There are many stereotypes and stigmas around men and how we ‘should’ be able to deal with things and how we need to ‘man up!’ at times.

We are expected to be brave and be strong for everyone around us but sometimes we need someone to be strong for us, someone we can open up to and let out our feelings and emotions to instead of bottling them up and putting on our very best ‘I’m ok’ face.

Fortunately, I have a couple of close friends and a brilliant wife who I can talk to and who are always there; being able to ring them up and talk when I’m having a bad day is massive, often talking about nothing of any importance, often talking about the situations Bowny got us into. These things help and allow us to look back on the good times which, temporarily if nothing else, lightens the mood.

In August of this year a team of 6 will be completing the national 3 peaks challenge in memory of Bown. We all aim to do him proud and I’m sure that he will smiling down on us and offering encouragement in his own distinctive way.

We have chosen two charities to raise funds for when doing this challenge. RoadPeace – who offer support to families and friends of people who are killed in road traffic collisions and Andy’s Man Club – who offer help and support groups for men where you can attend and talk about your issues or just go, listen, and have a coffee. Andy’s Man Club run a group from Foley Football Club in Stoke-on-Trent, a club where both myself and Bowny played a lot of our senior football, often alongside each other. We feel that a men’s charity ran from a place close to Bown’s heart is a great charity to get behind. We also know that RoadPeace has offered fantastic support to Bown’s sister since his death and supports many others thrown into turmoil and grief following a death of this nature.

What do we want to achieve? If by the end of the challenge one person who is struggling with the bereavement of a friend or family member, or having mental health struggles, feel they can reach out and know that charities like RoadPeace and Andy’s Man Club are there and may be able to help, then the hard physical miles climbed will be well worth it.

#itsoknottobeok

To support their journey and contribute to these vital charities, please visit their fundraising page.

Updated on: 8 May 2025