We think it is fair to say absolutely everyone has been talking about our West Midlands Group members, Diane and Elwyn Davies, this week. Diane and Elwyn are always a huge support, and join us at events. However, last week, they took the massively courageous step of standing up and sharing their story. Elwyn spoke of the loss of his 3 sons – Adrian, Mark and Hugh. Elwyn’s last surviving son, Hugh, was killed in a road crash. Elwyn spoke about the need for men to be open about their grief, and explained there is no shame in crying. Diane and Elwyn – you are both utterly incredible.
A Message of Hope
I was left with my 3 sons to bring up. It was tough but we managed. I met Diane and she became stepmother to my boys.
In 1991 my youngest son, Adrian, died of an illness, he was 22. Then in 1997, my eldest son, Mark, died from drug addiction, he was 34.
My middle son, Hugh, was killed in a road crash on 30th June 2015.
When Hugh was killed the shock and grief was too much to bear. The impact cannot be put into words. With the love and support of Diane we keep strong.
Hugh was 50 years old and a senior charge nurse at Russell’s Hall Hospital. On that fateful day Hugh was riding his motorbike to the hospital for his evening shift. It was 7pm, a bright summer’s evening, good visibility. His speed was 28 miles an hour. A white van driver turned off the dual carriageway and crashed into Hugh. Hugh died at the scene. Witnesses, police and investigators confirmed that the van driver was guilty of dangerous driving although later the charge was downgraded to ‘without due care and attention’. Goodness knows why.
The driver of the van pleaded not guilty. It took a year and finally an appearance at Crown Court before he pleaded guilty.
Hugh was a father of a beautiful daughter. He was highly professional and respected by his medical colleagues. He was loved by us all. We miss him so much.
The horror of Hugh’s death is still unbelievable, so overwhelmingly devastating.
At times it has been disappointing because society struggles to acknowledge grief as a whole, but at times as a man, it feels even more so that we should hide our feelings. I have always tried to open up and to cry – but I do wish on occasion male friends had taken the time to ask how I was, or even phone. We must learn to show greater empathy to those grieving – there is no shame in this, even as a man.
This is the 4th time we have attended this service. We always weep, but do find emotional peace in this beautiful church. Like all of you all here today, it is a service that none of us would ever have wanted to have the need to attend.
Our message to you all is ‘hope is better than despair’. Somehow, we have learnt to “manage” our grief.
Thank you RoadPeace for your truly amazing work and for once again organising this Service of Remembrance.
Updated on: 23 January 2025