Crash victims remembered in online service

‘This is not the way that things were supposed to be –

but I am so thankful for the life that you shared with me.’

This weekend bereaved families and members of RoadPeace gathered online to honour and remember loved ones killed in crashes.

This special ceremony of remembrance is usually held at the RoadPeace Wood at the National Memorial Arboretum in Staffordshire during August National Road Victim Month but because of current restrictions was not possible this year. Instead the service moved on line.

The ceremony included poetry, monks chanting, music and a message of support from the Victims’ Commissioner Dame Vera Baird.  For those that were not able to join us the service can be watched again online. At the heart of the service was an Act of Remembrance to honour the lives of precious loved ones killed in crashes.

Monks from the Buddhahivara Temple shared a message of kindness and compassion in support of all people suffering:


Dame Vera Baird, the Victims’ Commissioner sent this message of support:


This is Not the Way Things Were Supposed to Be, a poem written by Lucy Harrison, RoadPeace member and West Midlands Local Group coordinator was read out:

This Is Not the Way Things Were Supposed to Be

This is not the way things were supposed to be –

to stare at a plaque with the words ‘remember me’

and be filled with thoughts of you.

It had seemed that time was limitless, and there was still so much to say,

it had never occurred, that one so full of life, could be confined to yesterday.

Back then, road deaths were just stories to us,

small segments on the news,

and we never quite understood all the fuss;

until we became the next family to walk in those shoes.


And then our world imploded, it seemed like time had stopped,

as we sat stunned, and still, and shocked

and completely torn apart.

But people were quick to say it would get better, to promise the hurt would ease –

so why are there still these terrible days, when grief can buckle us to our knees?

Well this tragedy was so unexpected,

a colossal bolt from the blue,

and there are moments we feel so completely dejected

that we cannot rewind the clock to be with you.


So, we hold our memories tight, as remembering you is beautiful –

and our love for you is forever, and completely irrefutable

and that will never change.

Perhaps we will light a candle, as we gather together with others –

the bereaved supporting each other – some fathers, some wives, some friends, some mothers;

And perhaps there might be some relief,

as your name is read for all to hear,

for somehow it gives us the belief,

that your spirit will always be near.


Yes – this is not the way that things were supposed to be –

but I am so thankful for the life that you shared with me.

© Lucy Harrison 2019